Tuesday, August 24, 2010

LIFE EXPERIMENTS: Space Replacement Therapy

This is part of the LIFE EXPERIMENTS SERIES - a tribute to leaving my job to live my dream. To follow the journey, click HERE. Or on the LIFE EXPERIMENTS TAG at the bottom of this post. All related posts can be found under this category. 

Okay, where was I? 

Or am I? 

The journey-less-journey, but journey nonetheless. 

A funny thing happens when you make SPACE in your life... Leaving my job - opened up a giant chunk of it, followed by the compulsion to clear all physical obstructions as well. Everything that looked like clutter, or dust, or order that had no order, had to go. I burned some things and trashed some things, gave stuff away... 

But the "funny" part about open SPACE (and I'm not sure if this has to do with gravity or magnetics or what) is the refilling (of that SPACE) that arrives like a hungry dog after a free meal. I had to double check that I didn't leave a sign posted to my door - FREE EMPTY SPACE AVAILABLE - PLEASE FILL IN WITH ANYTHING.

Quite frankly, I was bombarded with offers of every shape and size. Social invitations and opportunities-knocking (invitations)... Do you want to go for a walk, or a drink, or be my friend, or try this job, or help me with this thing, or listen to my life story, or, or, or...?

Of course I said, yes. 
My life, a blank canvas, 
An open slate, 
A sky-is-the-limit...

I am a whirling dervish, an aloha-surprise - of course I can do it ALL!

Naturally, I DID think I could do it all.

Well, I couldn't. WHAT WAS I THINKING?? I've never done that many things simultaneously in my whole life! Plus, would any of them get me any closer to my goal? Oh yeah...what was my goal?

The original idea was to quit my job to finish the book of poetry I've been dreaming on and toying with for way-too-long. Beefing out the website and blog, doing live poetry and a little freelance copywriting. So...

NO! I had to say no to the other things. Despite their seductive call and my easy-go-lucky attitude. I had to say NO.

By the way, it totally stressed me out to say NO -  in case any of you who I said NO to happen to be reading this right now. But then to tell the ABSOLUTE TRUTH, it did get easier every time, and a little bit more fun too. 

What I'm really trying to say is this: 


It's not that I don't get to say YES to some things, but I do get to choose which ones are right and at the right time. I did not walk away from a workplace that gave me at least a small sense of security, only to refill my life with incidental and temporary senses of security. 

Great opportunities are always available to me. (This has become my mantra). Saying NO now, does not mean that the great thing, or something like it, or something better, will never come back again. OF COURSE IT WILL. 

OF COURSE IT WILL - has also become my new mantra. 
To be continued...


Insert your heart here: dizzy, dancing or otherwise.