Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Day After (FIRE)

The day after a poetry event is like the day after an earthquake. I offer you a glimpse inside myself as I share my response to a friends email about the day after THE LOVE FIRE POETRY EVENT...



FRIEND: Sooooo how was it For YOU?????

akka b: I'm so exhausted today, it's hard for me to answer that question. But I'll try. 

It was powerful. 

I felt LOVE energy big time strong... A fever the day before was purifying and forced me to "let go" delegate and relax. It was really wonderful having the fire pit in the middle - and we all threw our poems in the fire after we read them, which was neat. 

The night was a little heavy on content and structure, as I was swinging to the other extreme from the previous event, where I felt a lack of structure. The very cold night challenged some people towards the end. BUT despite the "adjustments" I want to make, there were still people that approached me that were extremely moved, had serendipitous stories to tell about how they ended up there or how the poetry has helped them, or how the video helped a friend etc. So... sigh... smile. It's for those stories I continue, no matter what. 

How do I really feel?

Like a new mother who gives all her milk to her baby, all her time to her husband, lends her ear to a neighbor and a bed to a friend. Meanwhile her clothes are falling off because she's become too skinny, her car barely starts because it's out of gas, her teeth are full of cavities and her hair is going to dreads. 

But she'll get up and do it again tomorrow, because for the first time in her life, her dreams are no longer dreams... but living, breathing, feeding, giving, growing manifestations of her love and perseverance. All the prayers she left in temples, all the contracts she made with god... 

There is no way back
To what she left behind
To get to what is NOW
But being where she is
Living inside the flame
She'll return to,
From where she came

Thank you for asking (FRIEND) ... it's been an important contemplation. I love you. 

7 comments:

  1. There is no going back...a journey in a stream, a coracle swept upon a dream, thankyou for your courage.
    XXX

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  2. Oh, I'm so sorry to have missed being there in person. I so appreciate that you host these amazing evenings. Rest, rinse and repeat, babycakes.

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  3. Still drunk from the LoVe Fire..thanks for being strong and wise and true to your drunk heart. xx

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  4. come over here and host one .... soon

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  5. @RMP - mmn... your words.

    @Carol - mmn hmn!

    @Communicatrix - Thank you. We'll do it again, for sure, for sure, for sure. And you'll be there reading your heart out... and I'm so glad you were not there on Friday, because wellness is way more important this time of year. PS.. quick, move to Ojai.

    @Holly - Delighted for your drunkness Holly dear... Thank you for being SO YOU and SO BLISSFULLY PERFECT in every way. Your poems were a hit!

    @JONAS - How did you ever get SUCH a good name? I know I've wondered that before, but ya know how poets are... always WUNDER FULL. Let's do put on an English speaking Poetry in Paris event soon... oh wouldn't it be good??? We'll make a fatty mess of things, they'll never know what hit em. x

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  6. Sounds as lovely and exhausting as anything really worthwhile doing!
    Firelove to you! XO

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