I am Akka. There is a longer version of my name, but I don't feel like telling you about it. It contains everything scrumptious about me and private. But I am confident that without revealing too much, I can still share everything. Just call me akka from concentrate. Although my friends will probably laugh at the word "concentrate."
Here's the menu: Fanciful and succinct, tossed with charm and truth. I hope I make you cry - because my story is the same as yours. I hope I make you laugh - because the joke is on all of us. I don't like to explain things too much. It bores me. I get off on cutting out the heart of a story, a feeling, a desire, and casting it towards the firmament as a sacrifice for the gods.
Take your clothes off. I'll make you tea.
(Was that polite enough?)