Watching What I Think

Her lips are covered in beet juice again and her eyes have turned to green. But don't worry about the hearts slipping out the top of her head... 

That's pretty normal this time of year. 

42 RULES OF ABSURDITY:

1. There are no rules
2. Therefore, you will have to make your own
3. But
4. Even when you do
5. They will have to be undone
6. And when you do something once
7. It can never be done twice
8. In the same way
9. It was once done
10. Or undone
11. Absurdity
12. Is not a standard
13. And you won't receive a degree
14. To be measured
15. By anyone elses standard 
16. Of absurdity
17. My absurdity
18. Ritual
19. Usually begins 
20. With 50 ton bricks 
21. Weighting me to my bed
22. Dazed
23. Blah
24. But blah ferocious
25. Maybe I'll start singing
26. Or take off all my clothes
27. Or put on all my clothes
28. Or say something controversial
29. Out loud
30. Or peel things off my walls 
31. Or spill ink on my sheets 
32. Or pretend that I am still 5
33. Or 95
34. And that I don't really care
35. Anymore
36. About anyone else
37. Making me
38. More
39. Or
40. Less
41. Absurd
42. Ity

Chunks are Falling

Click to see full pic

Chunks are falling off again

 And it doesn't feel sublime

Artistic maybe?

ok

Chunks are falling artfully again

WOW - amazing patterns!

 Kaleidoscope of patterns

Chunky

 Artful

 Patterns

  

Falling

  

I wonder who I AM under all of this?

and

How much longer please?

GOD GAVE ME GOGGLES

Okay, whatever, so I borrowed the goggles - used them, stuck them on my fat little face. 

Do you know that for years I have been swimming without goggles? 

Do you know that for years I haven't really been swimming, because I can't swim without goggles?

I didn't even realize I hadn't been swimming, until yesterday, when I started swimming.

And oh my was I swimming... I was swimming and swimming and swimming.

I was the Forrest Gump of swimming!

Here it is: 

Contact lenses are really great for seeing, but they really suck for swimming. No lenses, means not knowing where I'm swimming, and not knowing where I'm swimming... is really not worth the swimming. On the other hand, wearing contact lenses means going in, without going under - which is basically equivalent to balancing a chocolate bar on my nose in ninety degree weather and never ever, ever getting to take one bite!

For years I have been either seeing OR swimming, but not seeing AND swimming!

But, I'm not quite sure what the metaphor is. 

Imagine that?

LIFE EXPERIMENTS SERIES: The Urge to Purge

[This post is part of the LIFE EXPERIMENTS SERIES - a tribute to leaving my job, to live my dream. To follow the journey click HERE, or on the LIFE EXPERIMENTS tag at the bottom of this post... all related postings can be found under this category.]

  It began with a purge, a need to rid my life of all excesses. 

  After giving notice at work, I would have guessed my energy might naturally turn toward scratching up alternate sources of income. No. All I could think about was how many ways to clear my life of all things that no longer made sense. Most immediately, STUFF. Physical, actual, hard with edges, lumpy, bumpy, cut & dry, crumple it up and throw it out - STUFF. By no means have I finished this compulsive sorting...I get distracted by nearly everything and likewise, nothing. There is an interesting momentum that takes grip when you say no to less than you were meant to be and yes to what you know you came here to be. 

  There's also a fear that comes knocking. Oh SHIT! What the hell have I done?! What was I thinking? I'll probably die. 

  Well, exactly. I will absolutely die. Someday. And therefore the fear gets overwritten with the ire to dissolve anything or anyone attempting to interfere with the uncanny force field I've resolved to water and prune everyday. Every minute really. 

  Interference is very sneaky... but more on that next time. 

  Stay tuned.

OPEN SESAME HEART

OPEN

That's
it.

all the way
not a breath less
not a regret more

open
is
ALL

The Passion of Akka b.

There are times when LOVE requires window cleaner. rags. a rake.

There are times when LOVE requires getting filthy. While wearing a skirt.

and a white-top.
and a manicure.

There are times when LOVE asks us to be ferocious and unrelenting.

I know, you know.

Tonight required all of those things.
and sweat
and compulsion
and even a pinched back

I had to.

under the canopy of night
oak leaves
spider webs

I had to.

Make
+
+
+
Room


*

sometimes i throw tantrums

no. i really do.

sometimes people get in my way and i want to bite their ears off.

i also glare a lot.

and growl a little.

flinging under-digested weight around like a boulder.

an invisible one.

and invincible too.

i'd like to think.

anyway ~ i'm sorry if it makes you cry.

kind of.

Mornings are NOT Broken

Between trips from the bedroom to the kitchen for tea and trips from the bedroom to the bathroom because I drank tea…

Sometimes I find myself jumping on the bed.

Mornings are getting bOuNcY.

i have angels...

~~~~~and he let me ride his wings~~~~~
~~~~~UNTIL I FOUND MY OWN~~~~~~~

angels do that~~~they lift you up~~~
without~~~ever~~~~~~~putting~you~down~~

things that matter

Fingertips barely brushing strands of hair

and

Vibrant whispers
Behind ears
Back of neck
Down shoulders
Ribs
Feathery sensations
Currents
Spirit weaving
Interlacing
Body curls swirls swishes
Mouth parts
Eyes glaze

Twiddling with fingertips

Disturbance of matter

give...

for you
from me
with love
for me
for you
and love
because
it longs
longs too
short
to reach
reaches
too long
for.
get.
to love
the love
from me.
for me
for you

mango

my heart looks like a mango

but my toenails are dirty

and that’s why my heart looks like a mango

APPRECIATION

humbly...

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by.
Sharing perspective, stories, laughter, tears...
but above all...friendship. Thank you for your
friendship.

It's like a full moon on a Monday morning experiencing
so many beautiful souls so near.

Gives me hopeful feelings...
Like it might be o.k. to continue.

Intimately. Openly. Fearlessly.

~ i hold your hands

Honestly akka ~

click on me

Holding on and Leaving behind

i didn't take the rock with me...

Sort of but not really, S-ELF PORTRAIT (what else am i supposed to call it?)