write?

Not feeling tortured at every turn can be a challenge as a writer. Sometimes I feel it would be much easier if I had something to hate more, if I liked cigarettes and long tall dizzying drinks, if I had more black in my closet or disparaging opinions hanging around. What am I thinking anyway? Writing about trees and rocks and dirt and sky and moon and weird things like feet and lightning and supernatural phenomenon? I mean you should probably feel sorry for me or something; at least that would be writer-ish - if I could get someone to feel sorry for me. Then I would brood aimlessly and act indulgent. Gosh that would be cool.

I'm not cool. That's just it. I'm way too warm and fuzzy to be cool. I like to sniff people. I like to slurp things. I talk to inanimate objects - affectionately. I light candles and pray to stuff, or about stuff - either. I do cry sometimes, but then I laugh about it. I laugh and laugh and laugh, hard and loud and not in a very hip way at all. Nope, not very hip...not at all.

Write.
So about those rocks...

OPEN SESAME HEART

OPEN

That's
it.

all the way
not a breath less
not a regret more

open
is
ALL

T*R*E*E*S

DID YOU KNOW THAT TREES LIKE TO WATCH?

WELL, THEY LIKE TO WATCH.

NOW YOU KNOW

a wooden chair called Patience

a wooden chair called Patience

is keeping me up too late at night

holding me to her

telling me to wait

a few minutes more

it's always a few minutes more with Patience

she calls me Restless of course

Restless-Grasshopper for short

i am always hoping she will call me -
Still-Pond-Lit-With-The-Waxing-Moon

no.

a few minutes more

PLEASE GIVE ME THE WORDS - i beg

they're leaving a lump in my throat

i can't go to bed with a lump in my throat

shh.

said Patience

growl.

said I

things got a little heated and I threatened to change her name

she cowered and then she laughed

I don't know why she laughed

MY-SCAPEGOAT

seemed like a good name

ARCHIVES

THE ARCHIVES ARE GETTING LONELY

DIG DEEP

* * *
roll your heart in them

personal
F A V O R I T E S...

DEEPER

BEAST

RETHINKING BIRTHDAYS

MAGNIFICENCE

BECAUSE OF THUNDER

LUCK OF THE DRAW

ON MY KNEES

MOLTEN

RECONSIDERING WORRY

DEVOTIONAL

ON BEING A MAMMA

LET IT BE THE NIGHT

RETURN IT

INSIDE OF ME

HUNGRY STILL

SPILL

I LOVE YOUR HEART

DOUBT

17 EXPRESSIONS OF PEACE

Peace =

ENOUGH warm clothes to wear when it's cold.
ENOUGH time to get naked when it's warm.

Peace =

SIPPING TIME:
Idea sipping.
Thoughtless sipping.
Tea sipping.
People sipping.

Peace =

PAPER for writing things down on. Writing things out-of-ones-heart. But also fear. And stupid things. Things that make one feel stupid and aged. Or too young. Or incomplete. Those things. Paper is good for that.

Peace =

STORIES. oh YeS. Mmmn...because once in a while you just have to go another direction. Lose your mind. Leave it there.

Peace =

PEACE SIGNS are kind of cool. That's a neat expression. Peace signs look like tipi's. Tipi's remind me of people who sit in grass and do tedious work, but with their mind like the sky and their feet like the ground.

Peace =

COFFEE - ground. Coffee. yes.

Peace =

EYES. The eyes of people who hurt, but grow. People who make mistakes, but make them better. People who wear their shirt inside out and those old paint-stained jeans. People who take up S P A C E.

Peace =

ROSES. Dew stained roses. ugh. Not in a bad way "ugh"...in a way that's like, "UGH - I want to bite you dew-stained-rose, fragrant rose, rose that reminds me of the setting sun and the rising moon."

Well, anyway sometimes I do bite them.
And guess what?
They also taste good.
They taste like how I want to be inside. Crisp, fragrant, delicate, but vibrant-delicate, sensitive and ephemeral.

Peace =

MUSIC. Expansive. Bliss inducing. Hip moving. Shoulder releasing. Music that stimulates deep intoxication. Or the urgency to touch someone. (I don't know how much peace there is in urgency, but oh well).

and finally...

Peace =

DARK PLACES, where letting go counts and time stands still.

Have I said enough? OOPS - I'm not to 17 yet.

Number 12:

Peace =

CHANGE. Changing my mind that I don't want to write 17 things, I only want to write 12. That makes me feel peaceful.

only writing 12.

What Lightning Feels Like

oh yes, lightning.

does what it darned well pleases.

anywhere

anytime

ZAP!!

like the roof caving in.

no rumble rumble like an earthquake.

no tumble tumble like a hurricane.

just ZAP!!

and there you are ~~~~left~~~~not exactly standing.

but not exactly, falling asleep.

Playing with Matches

All sorts of POETential here:

CAKE

Having my
CAKE
and
EATING
it
TRUE.

The
CHOCOLATE'S
for me
and
the
rest
is
FOR
YOU

where to find IT.

Inside pages, under footsteps, without calling card.
Because of bathtubs, and candles and the bear.
For wanting, or For-getting or For-having.
this much.

Enclosed in envelopes, to keep, to touch a lot.
Breaking from tree, that had to let go of its twig.
Giving, clouds transfer thoughts via nations.
that's where.

Growing out of tears, dropped carelessly on night stand.
Sprouting colors, turn to words, blossom dreams.
Sharing, there is nothing more to do now.
becoming.

MOON FALL

Somebody let the moon loose in here.

Echos below my breastbone,

between my breath,

unexpected.

Well, expected.

Illuminating space.

Oh my gosh there is SO MUCH SPACE!!!!

With what shall I fill it?

Or

For what, shall I let it be?