Sunday, May 16, 2010

Definition of a Drunk Love Heart #2:

Absolutely fixed on the sweet elixir... 
Obstacles between, I do not love. 
Even though TO LOVE might improve my visibility.
TO LOVE might improve my invincibility...

I could call it an obstacle or a monster 
Or a locked closet with no key. 

It doesn't matter, YOU, get the picture - you must.
(I know I'm not alone in this). 

We've been fighting for years... 
Ignoring each other, demanding, threatening, 
Waiting for it to be different - and for someone else to make it so. 

I'm counting my gray hairs between now and then. 
Exhausted. Bored. Bored with this roundabout way. 

I must do that opposite thing again. 

Get cozy with that which I abhor: Okay, go...

forgive the fight. 
forgive the key that doesn't fit, make a new one.
forgive the monster who has no mother, no harbor, no friend.
forgive the chance that was lost, but not lost, but integral.
forgive the past for being difficult, more so than thought deserved.
forgive the future for being scary and fear, for moving slowly.
forgive the way its been done before and the way I do it now.
forgive the way I have loved and haven't loved and wanted love.

forgive out loud
forgive anyway and in general
but not until I'm ready and ripe and it is time
it must be honest.

AND I must be willing to use new eyes when closets begin to open, 
and monsters want to cuddle, and the sweet elixir returns... 

When I become invincible for real, for really real.


  1. I don't think anything quite propels a life forward again like forgiveness. It has the power to transform barren-like ashes of our life into gardens of the most beautiful flowers. It is the rain to our soul, washing everything clean...

  2. to forgive is for self. so self can move on. so self is free to feel again.
    to forgive is for love. so love can move in. so love is free to be again.


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