Tuesday, August 3, 2010

LIFE EXPERIMENTS SERIES: Let Me Back Up


Dear Reader, 

Recently I quit my perfectly wonderful, comfortable job of 6 years in order to live fully my poetic dreams. What can I say? I felt like gambling. To be honest, it was more than gambling... it was a necessary response to the obnoxious clickety-clack in every cell stored in my being - a call to make more room, grow, challenge my fear of "going without," challenge my vulnerability.

Vulnerability. Many might think I'm crazy being a single income, single mom type. But my suspicions suggest it might be a favorable time for crazy. The world seems to be in a very dynamic all-at-once, now or never, pow-pow, jump or die or perhaps jump and die (but at least you died trying) kind of way. Sounds dramatic I know, but I can be a little dramatic, so my actions or perceptions tend to match.

Vulnerability. What I really wanted to say in the previous paragraph is that this experiment has so far, been full of surprises. Sweet insightful surprises, some very subtle, others quite pronounced. It's only been two weeks since I left the workplace, but already I've experienced a full range of emotions and responses to my new world - a world I am creating everyday. 

In the coming days, perhaps weeks... I will share glimpses of this joyful ride through writings, poetry and images on this blog and my Facebook page. To follow this thread (as I may bounce around some) click the LIFE EXPERIMENTS tag found at the bottom of this post or in the SORTING IT OUT section in the right hand column. 

Thank you for sharing this journey with me your presence is a great inspiration. 

Much LOVE, 

akka b.

5 comments:

  1. right on girl! (or is it, write on girl)! I think it's absolutly, well Brave #1 and Fantastic #2...

    what is the plan of attack? how does one become a full time poet-ess?

    I guess we are all about to find out... :)

    Admirable Kudos, my dear!

    ReplyDelete
  2. THANK YOU KAY - I sincerely appreciate it. I will keep all posted on my experience so far and the days to come. I'm my own live guinea pig and am absolutely thrilled about the new adventure!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Akka B., I have been exactly where you are now and the fear is excruciating, but for all I know, such plunges into _____ are totally worth it!

    Now, to fill in that blank, I will first write LIFE - that is what life is about, taking risks and to our surprise, more often than not find one self better off than where we would be had we stayed in a wrong (but secure) path.

    then I will write
    DESTINY - we so often hold our selves back from an evident call because of mind stuff, really. But destiny will happen and better sooner than later, says I.

    then
    THE VOID - it seems void because we let so many things clutter our view. If only we could see, we would know there is not such void, except the velvety void of the Self. So, it is great that you are uncluttering your inner and outer space. I confess I put in the trash some old manuals only last week, after 10 years! And I am not finished.... :(

    THE LIGHT - as in ligthness and illumination - Trust is what we lack. I struggled endlessly for years to quit my ex-jobs and now I am showered with blessings, and I love what I do: translate all sorts of text. Of course some are more fun and others more pain.

    ADVENTURE - There are terrains that we are afraid to tread on, but no one needs to be as coward as I am, and you less than any one, so, welcome into the bungie-jump! We are all clapping at your plung into your life!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Akka b Sweet air whispers of handholds and footholds your way... Prayers of vision and inspiration... Bold thoughts of focus and dreams...
    Wishes & Kisses, Mao....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Adriana - you nailed it with all your heart. I am loving every part of this process and getting a kick out of how it unfolds. Remaining the observer is key. Watching where my fear and courage meet, how and what makes me expand and contract. It's so much easier to see what my blocks are without the many distractions of every day 9-5. It's also a new kind of challenge to create my own style of discipline... Allowing myself room to create and also remaining focused enough to continue to move forward.

    But best of all is getting to dance completely with TRUST. Which I haven't written about yet (as far as this process goes) but I will. Mucho Besos.

    ANONYMOUS - Thank YOU. A dreamy poetic gesture and completely taken to heart. I do believe, I do believe..........X

    ReplyDelete

Insert your heart here: dizzy, dancing or otherwise.