I Must Love You Blog

© akka b.

I must love you blog. I must love you in an everyday way. Coffee foaming from my mouth, tangled hair, tired eye, or eye(s), pinched skin, blushed lips, palpitating heart beat fire bang bang blast off sort of way! I must love you blog. BIG DEEEEEEEP BREATH.

So I've been sort of unavailable. And I forgive myself for it. There are times to run screaming deep into the wooded, musk infused, lichen growing, compost carpeted tree lands, sky falling, bird calling, acorn throwing places. But, just when I think I've 'been there done that' and can resurface... boom, boom, boom, I plunge again. Dunked. By heaven? By my own prayers? Prayers I made years ago to live this way. In the all-the-way kind of way? Probably.

But every time I do - go away. I also come back. Usually more ripe, more soft, more precise, more lovely then I ever thought possible. What is possible? What are the possibilities of living in this body that I love and am growing to love? Growing to live?

I must love you blog/I must love me. Even when I've been unavailable, there is purpose in this distance. Even in the seemingly unproductive mountain scaling times, there is purpose.