Panicked
I swallowed my hair
Blushed fiercely through frozen tears
Held my breath
Become invisible . Become invisible . Become invisible
(My mantra)
Clenched jaw, shoulders stuffed to ears
NO W.O.R.D.S
But glaring eyes spoke,
"YOU WILL NOT GET ANY WORDS FROM ME. YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM AND I WON'T GIVE THEM. NO."
NO.
no really
NO.
That's how it was for a while...
Posts
Hair in your mouth? Cloud above your head?
ReplyDeleteFilling it with LOVE, all around you, below you and above you, behind you and before you ...
As a kid I was painfully shy... I would do everything in my power to withold feelings, no matter how much I hurt or needed to cry. When I felt too exposed (which was always) I would bite my braid as a means of protection.
ReplyDeleteEvery now and again, I still feel like biting my braid. ;-)
Yeah that cloud on your head looks soft but a real bummer. Hair looks like of yummy though.
ReplyDeleteheart fully inserted, dancing and
ReplyDeleteas always,
loving your wild play...
invisible,
braid chewing
ruby hearts
always
rule...
;)
i really enjoy how you play with the w.o.r.d.s and the fonts and sizes of your text. but the real gem is found there in the rhythms and emotional connection and the story told in verse so well. better than i can express myself these 47 words.
ReplyDeleteInvisible...
ReplyDeleteThings that matter usually are.
Breath of the Universe,
Inhaling and exhaling this body.
When words fail - eyes speak,
Looking directly into the blinding light
of the Invisible.
good thing clouds are soft...
ReplyDeletei would feel like biting my braid, had i ever had one.
ReplyDeleteThat was wonderful ...
This brought tears to my eyes. This is my daughter. And in third grade her "shyness" turned to extreme anxiety. She quit talking in school. Completely. Selective Mutism. She began taking medication and started talking again.
ReplyDeleteShe is 15 now and still has those moments. And sooo many people think she has a serious attitude problem when she doesn't answer certain questions.
Thank you for writing/posting. Lovely.
We all have a piece in this grand design and so many of our stories are the same. People who know me now, never believe me when I tell them how frozen I felt inside my own skin growing up. But over the years I found some tricks that helped me burst through the fear. I'll email you....
ReplyDelete